I was pitching to an investor today, and as usual, going through the misery which is hearing all the reasons why your company will not succeed and why they would not invest in you, when I had a sort of epiphany. I mean, I could be doing anything in the world right then. Pretty much anything. But I was there, giving that pitch, subjecting myself to rejection/humiliation/general unpleasantness. And running a startup is no joke. It is a thing that takes a lot of time, a lot of stress, lots of blood, sweat, tears, and sleeplessness/nausea. And yet, I was there. As opposed to being anywhere else. I willingly made that choice. And in that moment, I realized that even if I could be doing anything, I would still be here. Trying to make this happen. Knowing all the things I do about that choice.
Because I’ve realized that the worries and stress don’t go away. They just become different worries at different stages of your company. But if I could pick which life to live, I would pick this one. I can’t imagine not pushing myself to the breaking point, emotionally, mentally, physically, all day, every day. It’s like athletic training, for your psyche. It’s learning how to think differently. And knowing that what I’m enduring now will prepare me for the future, and for anything else life throws my way? Well, I think that’s worth it. I wouldn’t be satisfied without knowing that I was living my life to the fullest.
Which also means that I have the right to enjoy the journey. I think I used to feel like I couldn’t enjoy myself otherwise we wouldn’t be motivated to get to the finish line. But I think I was missing the point. The point IS the process of creation. It’s the small building blocks that build up over time that, hopefully, amount to creating value in the world. But after 3 years, I think I’m only now starting to understand what it’s all about.
It’s sort of like when musicians come together and they jam. That’s how I feel now at work. Coming together to create something awesome. Something that I couldn’t have thought of on my own.
I think I’m realizing that there is magic in the every day, in the seemingly mundane.
If you still believe in magic, I think that’s where it’s at.
2 thoughts on “Is That All There Is?”
anu!! you are so inspiring!
Thank you so much Jess! I really appreciate it! 😀