I’m back at home and I can’t help remembering all the things we used to say as kids. Sometimes digging up the past is painful. But sometimes you remember good stuff too.
Sometimes you have to dig through the past and make peace with it to move forward.
I don’t know how I got to be so serious. You can just take a look at my Kindle. I can’t even tell you the last piece of nice, juicy, emotion provoking piece of fiction that I read. (And as I was writing this, I just bought a nice juicy book to read. To fix this problem).
I also know that I’ve coped with life by numbing out pain. Pain in all of its forms. From terrible elections, to poverty, to life ish that happens. But enough is enough. I’m tired of hiding. I’ve realized (by listening to some amazing women) that we need to run into our pain. Because if we can’t run into our pain, we can’t run into our joy either. And I’ve been living without either and I’m tired of being numb. Numb is overrated. Numb is what I spend most of my money on. Numb is the easy button. Numb is a lie.
So I’m beginning to wake up. Being woke. To what is important. What is meaningful. What I can do every day if I’m not scared of pain. What I can do if, in fact, I run towards it. It means being a Love Warrior. It means being vulnerable. It means making fun of myself. It means crying a lot. It means laughing a lot more. It means not being perfect. It means trying to be my best anyway. It means trying crazy shit, even if you don’t know what’s going to happen. ESPECIALLY when you don’t know what’s going to happen, in fact. It means being unpopular with the right people. It means being real. It means being kind. It means forgiving. It means moving forward. It means remembering the good times, and learning from the bad.
But mostly, it means love. A lot of love.