One day you get up and you’re like…WTF. Why do I complain about everything and never seem satisfied with anything? And you kind of see yourself looking at yourself from above and you think damn. This is a recipe for disaster. One thing happens and then another thing happens and then when the world doesn’t act according to your plan (spoiler alert: It NEVER DOES) you get pissy and horrible and obnoxious. WHY DOES THIS HAPPEN. WHAT IS THE POINT OF BEING PISSY AND HORRIBLE AND OBNOXIOUS?!
I mean lets just play through this scenario. I’m being a pain in the butt, and really, life isn’t going to change just because I’m throwing a hissy fit. It doesn’t work that way (believe me, I’ve tried). And then to top it off, the people who are trying to help you out and help you feel less terrible are being treated like crap, because, lets face it, you think the world owes you something and you’re being victimized by God and it’s just not fair, nobody will understand and everyone has it better. Obviously. (Hence the temper tantrum). So then you alienate everyone and everything and then you’re sitting at home watching Netflix reruns of God knows what eating lots and lots of Ben and Jerry. Besides helping out the sales targets for Netflix and Ben and Jerry’s, this really doesn’t benefit anyone else. (Unless you pirate shit and grow your own food and make your own food, then you are literally not helping anyone, and you are literally useless. You should really be ashamed of yourself).
Anyway. I guess today I got up and I was like…WHAT AM I DOING WITH MY LIFE?! I mean, I don’t know the answer to that question, but the more basic question is…WHY AM I JUST NOT DECIDING TO BE HAPPY?! I mean really. WHY NOT?! WHAT IS WRONG WITH ME?! (Yes, the answer is lots of things, but for the purposes of discussion lets limit it to the fact I am not choosing to be happy otherwise you will turn into my therapist).
Life is life man. It’s going on no matter how you choose to feel. So why the HELL would we not choose to enjoy it?
I really have no idea.
I’m going to start asking myself this every morning.
So I Quit My Job and Moved to India 
Good debate… there is a gulf between deciding to be happy and actually being happy. Some people are just wired to be happy.. they look at the positive in every situation — the glass always half-full types. Then there are the glass half-empty types for whom being happy is an alien concept. It’s for these types that the “deciding to be happy” applies, but it is so difficult for them.
So you can wake up each day and ask yourself that question. But it’s when you don’t need to ask it that you will find you are happy.
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I think you are facing this issue of choosing not to be happy because some where deep down you feel that you are having a prevailed life due to your upbringing or second generation earner or learner where as the 6 billion inhabitants on earth don’t have access to somethings even basic and want to fix this injustice to bring change and impact.
This purpose of life at a very young age without support and empathy from a large part of your friends and family or the outside world at large is hurting you.
Assume you take the role of buddhist monk in Tibet and give up against worldly needs yet you will be driven by this urge to give back. This Moral obligation manifests itself as a regular outburst of pain and world conspiring against you for failure reasoning of yours
“We should do away with the absolutely specious notion that everybody has to earn a living. It is a fact today that one in ten thousand of us can make a technological breakthrough capable of supporting all the rest. The youth of today are absolutely right in recognizing this nonsense of earning a living. We keep inventing jobs because of this false idea that everybody has to be employed at some kind of drudgery because, according to Malthusian Darwinian theory he must justify his right to exist. So we have inspectors of inspectors and people making instruments for inspectors to inspect inspectors. The true business of people should be to go back to school and think about whatever it was they were thinking about before somebody came along and told them they had to earn a living.”
― R. Buckminster Fuller
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