Even a recluse needs to get out once in a while. Friends from college are here and we’re taking a week to do Delhi-Agra-Jaipur.
I think there are a lot of things people get when they travel. Sometimes, you learn about a new way of living. Other times, you meet great people. But for me, I think the greatest thing about travelling and seeing new things is the feeling you get that there’s so much more to look forward to in life. It makes you realize that there was ancient history before you- with people capable of creating mind blowing architectural wonders. And people living in entirely different ways, but still perfectly acceptable. And then it makes you realize how little you know, and how much more there is for you to learn. You’re a speck in the universe, and yet you feel like the universe revolves around you. That’s probably the way it should be, but it’s stil nice to know sometimes that you’re just that special, and yet that insignificant at the same time.
It also makes you question things- yet again. Am I doing exactly what makes me happy? Because when I travel, I get out of my bubble and I realize the world of possibilities. I want to make sure that every day, I’m choosing to do what I do not because I have to, but because I want to. And it makes me think about the next big thing. What else am I really passionate about? What else do I love?
The fact that I couldn’t answer the simple question of “what makes you happy” doesn’t really feel right. I think I want to spend the next few months figuring that out. The fact that I have to figure that out is a little sad and pathetic but hey, that’s where I am in life. I think what I’ve wanted to do for the past nine months was just work as hard as possible. And that’s great, because that’s what I’ve done. I focused on work. And now, I think I want to focus on fun. I want to just have fun. It’s a little scary, because I can do that spontaneously, but maybe not for prolonged periods of time. I don’t even know. Is it weird that I have to study fun? Is that even allowed? I mean, I read business books for fun. Maybe that doesn’t count.
All I can say is that I know I’m pretty happy and I have been pretty happy. But maybe I want to be a different type of happy. The happy where I focus on the fun now.
We’ll see how this experiment goes.