Feminism, marriage

How I Got Engaged

I think a lot of people don’t believe I’m engaged because I don’t have a ring.  Which, let me tell you, has blown my mind.  I mean, don’t get me wrong, I LOVE jewelry.  Especially the big, bling-y kind.  (Sumit, if you are reading this, you are always always always allowed to get me jewelry.  This is me being subtle about it.  In fact, in an attempt for me to be subtle about this, let me put a link to the current rings I’m obsessing over – see here for reference).

Anyway glad I got that out of the way.  Oh wait.  Another thing. I LOVE SURPRISES.  I mean, obviously the good kind.  Not the terrible kind.  Like oh yeah your car got stolen.  That’s a shitty surprise. Or oh the food you thought you had in the fridge which you were going to eat for lunch has fungus on it and it’s not even small enough to just cut off and eat the rest of it (don’t judge- you know you do that too).  All very shitty surprises.  Not a fan of those.  (Also, note to Sumit, if you are reading this, you are ALWAYS allowed to give me good surprises.  Like oh I wrote a song for you or oh we’re going on this amazing vacation or…you know.  Whatever.  I won’t limit your creativity here).

So now that I’ve established my love of good surprises and bling-y rings, I still don’t understand why a combination of both of those is necessary to get engaged.  Literally society doesn’t believe you’re engaged if you don’t have both of those things.  WHY IS THAT?!  If two people decide hey, lets spend the rest of our lives together, why isn’t that enough? Do you have to give a ring to your best friend to ensure you’re both going to be best friends forever? I mean yes, we did that as 90’s children, but beyond the 5th grade, are we still into that stuff?

If a woman is really impatient and is like god why aren’t we married yet what is WRONG WITH YOU and then she is in the US and her boyfriend is in India and then she just Whatsapps him and says hey I think we should get married, will you marry me, I think it’s a great idea, and he’s like…yeah.  That’s a good idea lets do it.  Why isn’t that enough? That may or may not have been how this engagement happened.  And then I asked if that means we’re engaged, and then he’s like…you really want this to be how we’re engaged and I said no, but secretly I”m like…who the F cares as long as we move this thing along?!  (Sumit, again, please see the above- if you REALLY want to actually propose to me PLEASE FEEL FREE ESPECIALLY IF IT INVOLVES BLING, but again, I’m KIND of over it so maybe you can just throw me a surprise birthday party or something.  I don’t know.) But anyway.

That’s kind of how it happened.  But it is important to note that I did meet his dad and he bought me these BEAUTIFUL earrings that are pretty much worth more than my net worth right now (which is not saying much since I currently have $30 in my bank account but still).  And he was super duper nice.  Except I couldn’t say much because I didn’t speak all that much Hindi, and he didn’t speak that much English, but still.  He was really awesome.

And our families are meeting at the end of December which is pretty cool.  To figure out how this wedding is going to happen.   Which will be REALLY interesting because….well….lets just say my part of India is very different from his part of India.  Which, to be fair, should make for really interesting content.

AND thus begins a new saga.


Bangalore Grew On Me

I’ll be honest, I absolutely hated it when I moved here 4 years ago.  With a passion.  And I still wouldn’t really put it as places to visit for tourists because when people come to visit, it’s hard for me to say what they should do. 

But I love the small daily routines that I have here.  I have a favorite brunch place, but maybe it’s my favorite because it’s so happy and there’s a 80% chance I’ll meet someone I know and we can hang out/catch up, which is lovely.

Bangalore has much more character and history than where I grew up.  I love America as a concept, as a dream, as an infrastructural masterpiece.  I grew up in a place that was optimized for commuting to work.  Bangalore, for better or worse, is not optimized for that.  There’s so much traffic you want to CRY.  And when it rains, it literally FLOODS.  But as far as history and culture goes, Bangalore has my hometown beat.  I’m still discovering new types of food every day, that I didn’t even know existed! WHOLE CUISINES that I’m uncovering.  It’s nuts.  And street food.  Oh man.  Streetfood.  SO GOOD.

I love the tiny rituals that I get to participate in.  I love chai and filter coffee. It’s the thing I miss most when I leave India.  Bangalore filter coffee specifically.  And Idli and Vada and Sambar. So delicious.

But most of all, I love the people.  So many intersections of sub cultures it’s insane.  From artists to tech startups to restauranteurs to activists, they’re here.  But mostly I love it because you get the sense that everyone thinks that anything is possible. It’s quite motivating and wonderful to be around.

And that’s why I’m currently crushing on Bangalore.


It’s Weird When Things Are Un-Sucky

Like when it’s been so shitty for so long and suddenly you look back and you’re like…huh.  Things are significantly less shitty than before.  THAT IS POSSIBLE?! (I mean, you read stories about it, but…IT’S ACTUALLY HAPPENING TO ME OMG THIS IS AMAZEBALLS SHOULD I BE IN VEGAS I’M TOTALLY WINNING IN LIFE RIGHT NOW).

We have a new company that’s up and running and we are actually getting customers and making money which is a really good thing, turns out.  We got an OFFICE  and have people working with us, which I feel like makes things pretty official.  Sometimes I get PTSD and completely melt down and freak out, but then I just go home and eat ice cream and watch a few hours of trashy TV and I feel better.

I’m getting married. Holy crap, yes that’s happening.  Sometime vaguely next year.  But families are meeting and ish in December, YIKES.

I’m not completely broke either which is great.  I”M TAKING A VACATION TO THAILAND AND CAMBODIA! I mean my cousin totally scored us amazing hotel rates which made everything a lot better, but I’m still stoked.  I GET TO SEE THE LITTLE NEPHEWS (who apparently now are not so little).

I felt like a random life update like that was in order.  I also have writers block so…I think writing something is better than nothing.

All right. Have a great day.





Guess What? ChickenButt.

I’m back at home and I can’t help remembering all the things we used to say as kids.  Sometimes digging up the past is painful. But sometimes you remember good stuff too.

Sometimes you have to dig through the past and make peace with it to move forward.

I don’t know how I got to be so serious.  You can just take a look at my Kindle.  I can’t even tell you the last piece of nice, juicy, emotion provoking piece of fiction that I read.  (And as I was writing this, I just bought a nice juicy book to read.  To fix this problem).

I also know that I’ve coped with life by numbing out pain.  Pain in all of its forms.  From terrible elections, to poverty, to life ish that happens.  But enough is enough.  I’m tired of hiding.  I’ve realized (by listening to some amazing women) that we need to run into our pain.  Because if we can’t run into our pain, we can’t run into our joy either.  And I’ve been living without either and I’m tired of being numb.  Numb is overrated.  Numb is what I spend most of my money on.  Numb is the easy button.  Numb is a lie.

So I’m beginning to wake up.  Being woke.  To what is important.  What is meaningful.  What I can do every day if I’m not scared of pain.  What I can do if, in fact, I run towards it.  It means being a Love Warrior.  It means being vulnerable.  It means making fun of myself.  It means crying a lot.  It means laughing a lot more.  It means not being perfect.  It means trying to be my best anyway.  It means trying crazy shit, even if you don’t know what’s going to happen.  ESPECIALLY when you don’t know what’s going to happen, in fact.  It means being unpopular with the right people.  It means being real.  It means being kind.  It means forgiving.  It means moving forward.  It means remembering the good times, and learning from the bad.

But mostly, it means love.  A lot of love.


This Is The Story Of The World

I’m trying to come up with a fundraising pitch but all I can really think about is the story of my life.  I’ve decided that all lives are stories and how happy we feel is how we choose to think about it.  Happiness is how we choose to connect the dots and what narrative we create.  That’s how good fundraising pitches work.  Connecting the dots to create a cohesive narrative in a way that’s compelling to someone else.

I think that’s how happiness works too.  Connecting the dots to create a compelling narrative that you’re satisfied with.

It’s also called “half empty or half full”syndrome.  Ok I just made that up.  But you know what I mean.  Optimist or pessimist?  I think anyone can decide whichever one they want to be.

Now that it feels less shit show like, I feel like my life story is becoming more cohesive.  The way I want.  So far it’s:

  • Ages 0-18:
    • Girl wants to do something positive for the world but keeps getting told that she’s too young to do anything yet.
  • College:
    • Girl Face- plants for the most part, but succeeds enough to get by
  • The NextDrop 1.0 Years (2011-2017):
    • Repeat Face-plant but girl has enough experience/learnings/ hints of a new idea/is crazy enough to try again
  • June 2017- Present:
    • Girl gets funded with the new idea and builds a team to help her succeed
      • i.e a co founder for the business who has been through fire and back with her and she trusts immensely
      • ie. a life partner for her personal life who is pretty much the Yin to her Yang, the Clyde to her Bonnie.
      • i.e. really good family & friends around the world that help her get up when she eats shit, which, turns out, is decently frequently, but that’s ok because they don’t judge.  They just laugh with her along the way and dust her off and help her up and encourage her to try again.  And they remind her that everything is going to be ok.

That is currently the story of my world.

humor, Life, Uncategorized

Does This Make Me Look Fat? (And Other Highly Irrational Questions I Ask)

Do you ever see yourself do something and you’re like…nooo….not that thing…WHY ARE YOU DOING THAT THING?! DON’T DO IT DON’T DO IT…and then it’s just too late and the train wreck which is your life is in progress.  Ok not all your life.  Just situations where you are acting incredibly irrationally.  Like when you break down in tears because…YOU CAN’T DO THE LAUNDRY (and lets be real, by “do” the laundry, it’s pick up the phone to use the app to call someone to pick up your clothes- this is Bangalore people who with the internet does anything themselves these days?)

It’s not even a nervous breakdown because…well…that card was already played. (And you’ve kind of felt that sort of stress before and this doesn’t feel like that).  It’s more like…holy shit.  THIS IS HOW I AM.  I do and say and act incredibly irrationally. A MAJORITY OF THE TIME.  Ok ok ok maybe not a majority of the time.  But way more times than you’d like. In your head you’re like…bordering on the genius and clarity of thought of a modern Indian Nassim Taleb…and then you watch yourself….completely eat shit.  Just…faceplant.  Metaphorically speaking.  (I mean, literally speaking too sometimes- less often now which is nice).

The Art of Thinking Clearly is more like the art of …. Jesus Christ this is really really hard who does this anyway, and is there an Evernote shortcut for this? And…my brain is really really tired can I just cry and/or yell? Because that’s waaaay easier.  No wonder it’s the weapon of choice for kids everywhere.  Question: If you are trying to do this “Adulting” thing, can you do the whole yelling and crying arbitrarily? Is that allowed? Or is it more…only if it’s socially acceptable and proper?  Like only if your house is on fire it’s ok, and not ok if you want to randomly yell at a rock on the road because…just because? Follow Up Question: Is randomly crying while you wear sunglasses in the back of an Uber allowed? Like you’re kind of heave sobbing while he is driving and he can like…kind of see you in the rear view mirror but you’re also wearing sunglasses so he thinks maybe that’s just the way you breathe and he’s caught in between wtf should I do is she dying do I need to go to the hospital and…maybe if I just ignore her she’ll stop?

Maybe this is why people use drugs.


(This post does not formally endorse or NOT endorse drugs.  But if you are a child and are reading this, say no to drugs.  Smoking kills.  But wait a minute- if you’re a child, are you even allowed on the internet? Actually, I think you have way bigger problems than drugs if you’re a child and reading this.  Oh god.  Kids and the internet.  Horrifying.)

Life, Startups

You Can’t Be Angry And Grateful At The Same Time (Apparently)

I usually hate it when people say shit like this, but I get even more annoyed when I realize that it’s true.  I know because I tried. Being grateful instead of angry I mean.  And I am a much happier camper this week. This experiment started because well.. last week was le shit.  Something HAD to change (otherwise I would die of a heart attack at age 35, alone, in a ditch, with nobody around me except a stray dog- yes this is how I imagined my death if I stayed being Angry Anu all the time).  And I was soooo far gone that I literally had to watch YouTube Videos on “how to be grateful.”  Yes.  I know.  It’s like watching YouTube videos on how to breathe (but as I write this I’m like…oh wait…I TOTALLY WATCH YOUTUBE VIDEOS ON HOW TO BREATHE BECAUSE I JUST FOUND OUT I’M DOING IT WRONG!) Ok but that’s not the point.  Angry and grateful. FOCUS ANU. Ok I’m back.

I don’t know- I guess there’s not much more to it than that.  Actually, there is.  I figured out the other thing that was making me angry all the time.  I didn’t feel like I was getting enough time to get important work done.  And every entrepreneur I know is like…oh I work a billion hours a day and I don’t sleep.  And I’m like…fuuuuuck that.  If I don’t sleep I will murder people.  And I’ll be in prison. And I will die in prison because I definitely look like the weakest link, lets be real here.  So basically, no way I’m not sleeping.  I realized I just needed a few more hours a week to get some critical stuff done.  Literally just 3-4.  That’s 2 meetings + travel (if it’s in person).  So…I just said no to a few more work things this week.  Mostly meetings.  And of those meetings, 100% of them are either catching up or exploratory meetings with people other than my business partner or potential clients.  It’s amazing how many meetings you take that actually aren’t mission critical.  And that freed up a few more hours this week.  And now…I am finishing the ish that needs to get done.  And I feel DAMN good about it.

SO yeah.  I think the secret to sleeping while being an entrepreneur is actually…being a recluse.  In the business sense.  I don’t care if there is a potential collaboration down the line, or a media opportunity, or…whatever.  If you aren’t immediately relevant to me to ship ish, I’m going to push it for a few months.  I don’t think anything will die.  And I won’t murder people. I think that’s the win win.  NOBODY DIES.

So in conclusion folks, if nobody dies, that’s probably a win. For everyone involved.