How EXACTLY did Stella get her groove back?

As the title may suggest, I’m currently trying to figure this question out. The Terry McMillan version would be to find a much younger man. But then, considering I’ve reached this stage a bit earlier than Stella did, that would just be a bit TOO cradle robbery for my taste- I’ll stick with my current semi- Cougarness thank you very much (yes I finally confirmed my husband is one year younger than me- long story for another day involving fake birth certificates because apparently in Bihar, India that was a normal thing in the 90’s)

Just a bullet point recap of how my groove got slaughtered over the last few years, for those of us tuning in now:

• First startup went POOF! That was the first 7 years of my working life right out of college. Lots of pain and drama.
• The SECOND startup went POOF after a shorter time of 1.5 years and less pain (but it was after going through YCombinator, which, let me just say, sucks for the ego- oh YOU’RE those people that statistically we know exist because not EVERY YC company can become like AirBnB, but you don’t hear about them because, well, it just sucks- yeah that’s me).
• Freelancing for a while for different startups (that was a year)
• And now I work here and I do marketing and development.

Personally though, my groove has been pretty good actually. So that groove got me my Cougar status presently. I went from (happily) single, and never having a real romantic adult relationship EVER until I was 28, to married at 31. And for the record, I didn’t feel bad because I figure if Tina Fey didn’t really date until she was 28, why should I? (And now I am trying to find that link online and I can’t find it which makes me think that maybe I made this fact up but I feel like I read it in her book a long time ago and I don’t really want to go through and find it to fact check myself but now that I have this nice run on sentence I kind of think it doesn’t matter because well shit. I did it, so there.) Also, in case you’re wondering, I’m still married. It will be 2 years in December. I’m also very happy I stayed single for like…ever. It was the best. But being married is also nice. It’s like when people ask me whether I like India or the US better. That’s like asking someone if they would rather live without their right arm or left arm. WHAT’S WITH THE ARM REMOVAL WHY CAN”T I JUST LIVE WITH BOTH ARMS DAMNIT?! That’s what I think about when people ask me that question. That’s probably why I also stare out blankly a lot when people ask me that. I’m thinking about arm amputation and why we need to even think about it like that. WHY CAN”T I HAVE BOTH?! We have both arms. Why do I have to pick?! Picking sucks. How about BOTH. That’s my answer. I don’t even need to phone a friend. BOTH. So far (pre-Corona) it was 10 months in India and 2 months in the US for the past 8 years. It was great. I loved it. And I plan on getting back to that as soon as…..the possibility of death reduces when going on international flights.

Ok but I digress. I don’t even know what the point was. Oh yeah. GROOVE. That thing. So to be more specific, WORK Groove. Personal groove is all right actually. Can’t complain.

So I guess I’m like…the opposite of Stella then. Her work groove was fine, it was her personal life that was a hot mess. I think I’ve moved from hot mess to just a mild, begnin puddle now at work. People kind of walk by now and don’t gasp in horror. Now it’s just more…blending in.

But I don’t think life was given to us to blend in. Not in the literal sense. I just meant it should be spectacular with fireworks and unicorns, at least to us. Even if everyone else just walks by without noticing, but you know that every day, you see fireworks and unicorns, then that’s a good life.

I’m looking for those fireworks and unicorns.

I guess that’s progress then.