The Truth

I wish I knew the absolute truth.  The truth of who I am, the truth of who I’m supposed to be, the truth of what I’m supposed to do.  Sometimes I think I know this truth, and then it turns out it’s this insane little voice that’s really just trying to derail me.  It’s my ego.  It pretends to be the truth, and then I follow it, and then I end up with a huge mess.  My ego is a liar face.  

How do you learn to tell the difference between ego and intuition? I don’t really know and it still gets me into trouble. I usually just have to apologize to the people I owe apologies to for running a muck.  I am a good apologizer.  It’s a good skill to have I think.  

I don’t think intuition can project into the future.  I think your intuition can only live in the moment.  And all it does is help you understand how you are feeling right now.  And maybe what decisions to make today.  Maybe.  I don’t even know if it can tell you that.  

One thing intuition can’t do is protect you from pain. Or preventing you from making choices that cause you pain.  Because pain is how we learn and grow and it isn’t a bad thing.  I think we have given our ego the task of preventing us from pain and it makes no sense.  This is why it makes us do crazy things.  Because we have given it a crazy job to do.  Terrible bosses.  We are terrible bosses.  Poor ego.  It can only do one thing: Fail.  Which is probably why it says well to hell with it, lets go down with a blaze of glory. 

And then we are those weird people who follow the crazy voice (and not the good crazy voice, the bad crazy voice).  

Nobody talks about the bad crazy voice.  I listen to the bad crazy voice a lot. I’m going to try and stop doing that.