So this morning me and my roommate were talking about happiness, because that’s usually the sort of ish we like to discuss at 8:00am. But I think we decided it has a lot to do with perspective. Looking at the big picture and see how far you’ve come in life. Because otherwise you’re just thinking about how you’re not as good as you could be, which will always be true, but is also quite untrue, or at least really unproductive to obsess over. I mean really though, what’s the point of thinking about all the ways in which you suck? Ok I can see how that would be productive for some time, but I feel like there needs to be this switch, maybe an automatic sensor, that switches over from the whole this is all the ways in which you can be better, to all the ways in which you’ve really come far in life and really you should be happy.
You know what the sad bit of it is? That I’m terrified that if I am not obsessing over how much I suck, I will start being happy and then I’ll stop caring that I can get better at things and then I’ll never get better at anything and then….I’ll stop being…successful? But you know what? How do we define success anyway? I’m tired of the conventional definition. I think from henceforth, I am going to define success as being happy. Which means that I am currently failing miserably. Ok ok ok not failing miserably, but I’m not acing this ish yet.
That’s right, more studying and practicing to do y’all.