Oatmeal is my go to food when I wish I had a pill that I could pop which would supply me with all the nutrients I need so I fulfill my caloric and nutritional intake for the day and then I could do other things like…sleep. Because I didn’t eat enough calories for dinner the night before and so I got up at 5am, thinking about the million things that need to happen. Actually it’s not a million things, just more like one thing. I COME UP WITH INVESTOR PITCHES WHILE I SUPPOSEDLY SLEEP IT IS RIDICULOUS I HATE IT SHOULDN’T I BE DREAMING ABOUT PUPPIES AND FAIRIES OR SOMETHING?!
I feel like we’re caught in this perilous cycle of awful, the trifecta of terrible. Sleep deprived, power outage, no exercise. Which throws off my culinary usualness that includes cooking for myself. Now I have a double negative leading to an oatmeal. That seems safe. Oatmeal is like the Switzerland of food. Me and food have been on rocky terms ever since I got back from vacation on Tuesday. I can’t believe I was just on vacation Monday. I feel so tired. HOW HAS TIME EXPANDED SO 3 DAYS FEELS LIKE 3 MONTHS?!
If you can hear me, this is Anu. Can you please resend me the instruction manual because you’re confusing the crap out of me right now. I want to be able to speed you up and slow you down, at will. Not arbitrarily like it is now. I think I have a defective system. Do I get a refund or something? A credit card refund should be fine.