#TheMarriageChronicles : Things You Should Never Ask Your Mother

When you are of a marriageable age, there are certain things that you should never ask your poor mother. Not for any other reason other than you don’t want to induce an early onset heart attack.

If you find out your parents have saved a few gold coins for your wedding jewelry, which now equates to a small fortune that can buy me a 1 BHK condo in Utah.  Never should you ever ask if you can melt the gold, buy a place in Salt Lake City, and wear wood jewelry for your (not yet planned, not yet having a groom) wedding.  Your mother won’t dignify it with a response. Only leave the room with a more than slightly constipated face.

If you find out your family is trying to mortgage their house for your (not yet planned, not yet having a groom) wedding. Never should you ever ask if you can take that money and invest it your friends startup. Which is currently doing 3 crore in turnover. And when you try to argue that hey, at least you know that this has a chance of return, just expect your mother to look like you just stabbed her in the appendix. Or saw Jesus rise from the grave and proclaim that George W. Bush is the savior of humanity.

If you find out your family is trying to put your profile on Shaadhi.com to find you a good husband. Never should you ask if you can add a box specifying “ok with pre-nup”.  And when you try to argue that you know, you can never be too careful these days and 49% of Americans get divorced, just saying, she will look at you like you just told her you have 3 butt cheeks. Or that pork, it is decreed, is actually a vegetable.

Just a heads up. In case you were wondering.

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