It’s that time again when I go after something that I really want to be doing. Only to be mildly disappointed. It’s not exactly disappointed but more…ok. That’s cool. I’m doing this thing. Now what?
I’ve always wanted to take more intense dance courses, and now that I”m doing it, I really wonder why I’m doing it. I mean it’s great because I’m learning a lot, but at the end of the day, what am I trying to do here? I spend about 20 hours a week on dance. Which really cuts in to the pretty minimal personal time I used to have. Oh and there’s this thing called sleep. Sometimes I forget that exists. And I was just getting to the point where I was learning to enjoy eating food- and not just wishing I could inject it like a heroine junkie.
I think what really kills me is that I was just getting into a good routine with work and everything else. And the minute that starts going well, I feel the need to introduce this new thing into the mix. Because otherwise that would be too easy. Life would be too easy. I can’t be comfortable. No way. That’s not allowed.
So now that my life is crazy again, I have to find what works for me so I don’t feel on edge all the time.
Only to change it again in another 3 months when these classes end.
Sometimes I wonder what I’m doing with my life.
(And by sometimes, I mean at least 3-7 times a week).