Control, Life


Does anyone else get incredibly frustrated at the fact that they aren’t perfect yet? Because I sure do.  I know I know, it’s supposed to be about the journey, but sometimes, it just gets frustrating.  I was reading this book (from a new genre: startup fiction– yes that IS a thing now) and it talked about entrepreneurs being in “tilt”. Tilt, as they defined it, was when you are basically downward spiraling.  It’s a completely normal thing that happens all the time, you just have to recognize when you are in it, and course correct.  It’s almost like you’re a doctor, diagnosing yourself (i.e. WebMD but for your own neuroses and ticks).  It recommends figuring out what you do when you are spiraling downward, recognize it and overcompensate the other way so that your business doesn’t suffer.

Which is awesome if you are a robot, which clearly, the startup world is trying to make us all into.  Just kidding, but sometimes it feels that way.  I don’t know how they do that- just ignore all the pent up frustration and pretend it doesn’t exist. That’s the part they don’t talk about how to deal with.  And it’s crazy because it’s the little things that get to you, because you think you can ignore them, and then they add up to very big things (or at least in your head they are very big things).

Schedules are so tight that if one thing goes off, the whole day is in tilt.  And I haven’t scheduled any room for..I don’t know, fixing the mess. It’s sad (or maybe good, I don’t really know), but somehow work always gets done.  It’s all the other things in my life that suffer. I need to figure out how to fix that. Sometimes, the things that get me into tilt just amaze me though.

So I got bitten by a stray dog, which bit through my only pair of workout pants I have.  So now I own no workout pants.  I haven’t made time to go buy any, because I just figure it’s ok because I only really need pants if I don’t go to the salon enough (which I promised myself I would!)  EXCEPT I was talking at this college in Tamil Nadu this weekend, and I was supposed to come back on Sunday (to run errands which included going to the salon) and of course the Chief Minister of Tamil Nadu HAD to be convicted and sentenced to jail  the ONE day I was there, and they started rioting and burning buses and ish so I couldn’t come back to Bangalore because I might DIE.  For real. So we had to wait until the next day, but of course all the tickets were hella expensive to get out of Tamil Nadu and back to Bangalore, so the only reasonable ticket we could get was to fly into Chennai from Trichy at 2pm and leave from Chennai to Bangalore at 10pm.  Which means I got back home at midnight and spent all of Sunday at the airport.  Which was not so bad, except I went to bed late and then got up late,  so of course I was late for my first meeting (and didn’t eat breakfast), and didn’t get to catch up until 3pm today.  I finally got everything done at 8pm, but then I had to choose between salon and the gym and man I hadn’t worked out in a few days (again, the whole riots and burning buses and not getting back in time thing) so I picked the gym.  But because I hadn’t made time for the whole buying pants thing, I had to go with sprouty legs, which, I mean, I guess I’m not supposed to care about, but I totally do (so sue me) and I felt weird the entire time.  And it’s frustrating because I mean if a) I didn’t get bitten by that stray dog OR b) riots did not break out the EXACT time I was in that one city (I swear I was supposed to be there less than 24 hours!) I would have been fine.

They seem extreme but I feel like there’s always some sort of random act of whatever that throws a wrench in my perfect plans.

But I guess that’s the point.  I need to get over the fact that there will be no perfect plans, and I really just gotta roll with it.

Stray dog bites, rioting, and king cobras in your house and all (wait, did I mention there was a king cobra in my house and I had to call a snake catcher and all that jazz? Yeah, that happened).

I guess all I can do is keep calm and carry on.


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