There’s a point to throwing a pity party, and there’s a point to being happy and chipper and optimistic about life. The problem is when you conflate the two and it becomes this random roller coaster of emotion
Not to say that life isn’t going to be a random roller coaster of emotion, but more just being intentional about what you’re deciding to think about
I think there’s something to be said about throwing a really great pity party for yourself. Honestly, sometimes I get tired of being positive and happy and optimistic all the time (well, at least that used to happen to me a lot more). And I’d basically save a Thursday or Friday night and bitch about life with close friends. It was awesome. Sometimes if it was really bad, I’d just take a Saturday or a weekend and watch sad movies, eat ice cream, cry, get angry at people/things, and wonder why life (and the world) was so messed up. I think these pity parties were incredibly therapeutic.
However, they were time bound and after that time, I wasn’t allowed to think those negative thoughts. (Unless I schedule another pity party of course). It’s actually been quite amazing. I used to be a lot better of setting aside pity party time, and positive, lets take on life time.
Lately, I’ve been mixing the two together a whole lot, and it’s getting annoying. Yeah, I annoy myself. It’s RIDICULOUS because last night I was feeling so shitty about stuff and I was complaining to people, while also trying to sound positive and it was just really confusing as to what I was trying to say and I was also just really confused as to how I felt (surprise surprise). And at the end of the day, I didn’t accomplish anything. I didn’t get to complain properly and I didn’t get to enjoy life and be optimistic properly. It was terrible.
It’s ridiculous how the way you perceive a situation changes EVERYTHING. The way you talk about a situation changes everything. The way you think about a situation changes everything. I kid you not, you can make yourself feel terrible about life, or love your life. Just by actively filtering what you think about. Thinking links to feeling.
So as of today, I have decided to be optimistic and positive about my life and everything in it. And if I decide to be negative, I have to schedule pity party time ahead, invite guests (when required), and keep calm and carry on.
Really, if I’m going to throw a pity party, I’m going to throw the best goddamn pity party around.
And if not, I’m just going to be attending the always fun, my life is awesome party.