I don’t know why I had that song stuck in my head this morning. But working at a startup, it’s the closest I’ve been to any sort of “death like” experiences. Don’t freak out, not in that sort of way. I mean that you have a finite period to exist the way you are currently existing, and if you work hard enough and have a little luck on your side, that may extend, but ceasing to exist is a very real possibility too.
The last time I went through this last year when we were raising money, I sort of freaked out. I went through this downward spiral and it was nothing but terrible. We got through it, but it was nothing short of a living hell.
This year, I choose to be different. This time around, I choose for it to be a weirdly liberating experience. I choose to never live that way I did last year ever again. I choose to spend time to appreciate every single day, every single person I work with, and work my butt off to make sure we can continue living the way we live- and that is living to create the vision of the world as we see it.
It makes me realize how much love I have for so many things that I never noticed before. I really do believe in a thing called love, and guess what, instead of spiraling down into mental hellishness, I’m going to focus on all the stuff I love about the world, focus on how much I love the work we do, how much I love the people I work with, and how lucky I am to be here. You know I gave a hug to one of our employees for the first time? She’s been awesome, and I can’t believe I haven’t done that earlier. It was so strange, but it felt so good. What’s the point of not being able to express how you feel about people that you really care about?
This time, I choose to have faith, I choose to be happy, and most importantly, I choose to
Dance like nobody is watching
Love like you’ve never been hurt
Sing like no one is listening
Live like it’s heaven on earth
I haven’t done that in a long time.
I feel like I’m getting back to my old self. It feels good
Weird what certain events do to people, huh?
So I Quit My Job and Moved to India 
A million times yes. I ran across the letter below, and I found it inspiring and thought of you. Thought I’d share. 🙂
Apparently, students at Xavier High School had to write their favorite authors asking them to come visit their school. Vonnegut was the only author to reply:
“Dear Xavier High School, and Ms. Lockwood, and Messrs Perin, McFeely, Batten, Maurer and Congiusta:
I thank you for your friendly letters. You sure know how to cheer up a really old geezer (84) in his sunset years. I don’t make public appearances any more because I now resemble nothing so much as an iguana.
What I had to say to you, moreover, would not take long, to wit: Practice any art, music, singing, dancing, acting, drawing, painting, sculpting, poetry, fiction, essays, reportage, no matter how well or badly, not to get money and fame, but to experience BECOMING, to find out what’s inside you, TO MAKE YOUR SOUL GROW.
Seriously! I mean starting right now, do art and do it for the rest of your lives. Draw a funny or nice picture of Ms. Lockwood, and give it to her. Dance home after school, and sing in the shower and on and on. Make a face in your mashed potatoes. Pretend you’re Count Dracula.
Here’s an assignment for tonight, and I hope Ms. Lockwood will flunk you if you don’t do it: Write a six line poem, about anything, but RHYMED. No fair tennis without a net. Make it as good as you possibly can. But don’t tell anybody what you’re doing. Don’t show it or recite it to anybody, not even your girlfriend or parents or whatever, or Ms. Lockwood. OK?
Tear it up into teeny-weeny pieces, and discard them into widely separated trash recepticals. You will find that you have already been gloriously rewarded for your poem. You have experienced becoming, learned a lot more about what’s inside you, and you have made your soul grow.
God bless you all!
– Kurt Vonnegut”
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I LOVE THIS! Thank you for sharing 🙂 Just what I needed 😀
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