I don’t know why I had that song stuck in my head this morning. But working at a startup, it’s the closest I’ve been to any sort of “death like” experiences. Don’t freak out, not in that sort of way. I mean that you have a finite period to exist the way you are currently existing, and if you work hard enough and have a little luck on your side, that may extend, but ceasing to exist is a very real possibility too.
The last time I went through this last year when we were raising money, I sort of freaked out. I went through this downward spiral and it was nothing but terrible. We got through it, but it was nothing short of a living hell.
This year, I choose to be different. This time around, I choose for it to be a weirdly liberating experience. I choose to never live that way I did last year ever again. I choose to spend time to appreciate every single day, every single person I work with, and work my butt off to make sure we can continue living the way we live- and that is living to create the vision of the world as we see it.
It makes me realize how much love I have for so many things that I never noticed before. I really do believe in a thing called love, and guess what, instead of spiraling down into mental hellishness, I’m going to focus on all the stuff I love about the world, focus on how much I love the work we do, how much I love the people I work with, and how lucky I am to be here. You know I gave a hug to one of our employees for the first time? She’s been awesome, and I can’t believe I haven’t done that earlier. It was so strange, but it felt so good. What’s the point of not being able to express how you feel about people that you really care about?
This time, I choose to have faith, I choose to be happy, and most importantly, I choose to
Dance like nobody is watching
Love like you’ve never been hurt
Sing like no one is listening
Live like it’s heaven on earth
I haven’t done that in a long time.
I feel like I’m getting back to my old self. It feels good
Weird what certain events do to people, huh?