Things I Want To Do To Become A Regular Human Being Again

I like how I need a list for these sorts of things.  But it helps me organize my thoughts.  It was bittersweet when I gave up my house in Hubli last week.  I’m officially living in a big city in India now.  I know I started renting a place in Bangalore a while back, but I think it becomes real when you stop having a place in two cities.  I don’t know, maybe that’s just me.  I’m excited about it. I also really do think it corresponds with our growth at NextDrop, and more importantly, my change in lifestyle.  I want to start bringing back the things I used to do, that I actually enjoyed.

1.  I used to be so good at dressing well.  But for the last 2.5 years, I don’t even think the lightbulbs worked at our place/I actually looked in the mirror before I left the house.  It got so bad that I had to be interviewed for this TV show, and the producer was basically like, dude, your hair is ridiculous go fix it (when I kept ignoring his subtle attempts at getting me to volunteer myself), and I had to tell him, no, I don’t actually own a brush, sorry.  Yeah I pretty much just wake up and put my hair in a bun every day.  The man had to go give money to his minion and they had to go buy me one.  I thought it was pretty funny actually.  But really though.  More concretely, I want to schedule Anu time on weekends to go to the salon, and hey, pick up some new wardrobe items once in a while! And in the morning, more Anu time to actually dress up for work! Which means I’ll actually have to do laundry and iron it and hang it in the closet over the weekend.  I’m down.  I’m going to start this weekend.

2.  I used to be so good at being non judgmental.  Well, at least better than I am now, I can say that for sure.  So I want to work on that bit too.  I was working on it for work, but I NEED to work on it in social settings now.  It was really pathetic these last two weeks- I feel really bad because you can read everything going through my head on my face.  I can’t control my face, so really, I just need to stop judging.  I don’t even know why I started doing it.  Actually, I think I do know why.  I think the small part of me really enjoyed being mean.  It’s horrible to admit, but it’s the truth.  It’s fun being mean sometimes.  (Or all the time).  And I never used to be mean.  At least not on purpose.  It was fun doing stuff I never did before.  It’s a mini power trip too, to be quite honest.  It’s like saying wow, I’m way better than you, how am I here right now and not doing something else more important because I have a million of those things, obviously.  Yeah. Pretty frickin terrible.  Unfortunately, that’s me right now, and I need to stop. Because really, who decides what’s more important?  And just because I think this one thing, so what?  If I really do believe that I can learn something from everyone, and that’s what I tell people at work, then I need to start practicing that in my personal life otherwise I’m just a big fat hypocrite.  I mean, I probably am anyway, but at least I should fix the things I know about first right?

So really, I’m very sorry to everyone that I’ve offended.  No really, that’s a thing that I KNOW I’ve done. I’m working on it.

I think if I focus on these two things and do them well, I’ll be a pretty happy camper.

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