I got that terminology out of a book I read a long time ago and I quite liked it. For some reason I decided that adulthood started at 26 (I decided that in college and hold that it was the correct age to start expecting things from me- not anytime sooner, I was still warming up). Now that it’s winter holidays, I thought I should give myself a report card.
Freshman year of adulthood was exactly like Freshman year of college. I moved from Hubli to Bangalore. It was crazy. There was so many things to do, and so little time to do it. NextDrop wasn’t dying. In fact, we were growing. And that was stressful. Is stressful. I tried to make friends, but learned from the last freshman year that I went through that I have a tendency to overdo it. I didn’t want to be a people pleaser. I just wanted to hang out with people I genuinely wanted to hang out with- not out of obligation. Which I did. I am proud of myself for that. But life still feels like a mess. Sort of like Katrina all over again (and FEMA decided not to respond this time. Oh wait…)
Luckily we’ve employed the MIT system and all Freshman are not actually graded- just given a Pass/Fail. I passed. HURRAH!
Focus on next semester:
Slowing down. Finding my center.
That’s what I messed up for so long. I find it easier to go faster, wilder, never say no, never slow down. It’s like slowing down will kill me. Slowing down is scary. Now I know that I don’t slow down not because I won’t get things done, but I am scared of what will happen when there is empty spaces in time to fill. How do I fill it? I have to be in my own head- I have to be in the moment. Zen. Scary.
I’m actually convinced that if I can do this one thing, work, and life in general, will be infinitely better. I have done it a few times and I think to myself, wow, why don’t I do this more often? But it’s super difficult to get to that state. It takes me a whole day or more (and usually removing myself from Bangalore) to get to that point of centered-ness. So now, I want to focus on getting me to that state, every day. In my own settings. (Because lets face it, I can’t drop everything and go to Kerala every time I feel un balanced now can I? In case you thought I was richer than I actually am, the answer is no).
Dance (or yoga) every morning. Sacred time. Which means getting up early- like at 5 am. Its so wonderful at that time- the world is asleep and I have it all to myself. I WILL HAVE ANU TIME IN THE MORNING. (Caps because I am trying to yell at myself/emphasize that this is really really important).
Work is from 9:30am to 6:30pm. Keep focused and get the work done! It’s possible if we don’t get sidetracked and distracted.
Have Anu time after work. Either dancing, yoga or gym before going home helps separate work from home. I tried going home right after work and it was absolutely awful. It was so much better having dance class right after. The LEAST I can do is go to Gold’s Gym and either lift or cycle or…whatever. Something that says, hey, work is over and now you’re transitioning to home time. This also means I need to go to bed around 10pm. I can do that. I think I can I think I can…
Rinse and repeat.
I want to keep it simple. Just 3 simple rules to live by. I think if I can do that, I will be better human being.
At least a nicer one to the people I work with….