I finally figured out why we like to hold on to anger. Because if we don’t hold on to the anger, we don’t have anything to fill the void inside of us. I think we all have a void, and we all fill it in different ways. The most advanced people, I believe, have figured out how to make themselves happy, and fill the void with love. Some people, like me, fill it with anger. It is easier to be angry at things, because being angry means that I have something to hold on to- something to center me. If you think of a plastic water bottle, it’s always stronger when it’s full (no matter what substance is filling it). But now, I care what substance is filling me- because in the long run, it’s just not getting me anywhere I want to go.
So now, I just let the anger go. I see it, acknowledge that it’s there, realize that it’s a coping mechanism, and let it float away, just as quickly as it came. Letting the anger go is scary because now there’s a void to fill. And I still haven’t gotten to the point where I know how to fill that void quickly and efficiently. But at least I know where I am, and the end game, and what I don’t want to be filling the void with. I’m still charting out a a path to get there, but this, I believe, is the logical first step.
I still count it as progress.